Don’t Die Wondering

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‘Don’t Die Wondering’

…. a walk in the footsteps of Manaia Te Whara Track

We began on the sand. A soft, unassuming start; the beach sun warming our backs, the promise of a journey rising with the land.

Soon, the track began to climb, zigzagging through spongy grass, water overflowing the water table, soaking into our soles and our senses. Each step felt saturated with something older—something watchful.

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We paused at the WWII radar station—concrete relics nestled among roots and trees. Ghosts of fear lingered here. The threat of Japanese invasion once hung heavy in the air. How real was it? How real the fear, or the fear remembered?

And then the words, graffitied in bold rebellion:
“Don’t die wondering.”

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An invitation? A challenge?
What drives someone to climb this steep, unforgiving path just to leave those words behind? A need to be seen, to defy, to inspire? A determined defiling of memory, or simply the sheer hell of it?

We climbed higher.
The path turned muddy, gnarled roots snaked across our way like veins—natural obstacles and inner echoes. For Jo, the challenge was layered: brain said no, muscles said maybe. A flashback stirred. Rational met irrational. Courage, determination, doggedness.

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Upwards. Always upwards.
The stairs were steep—so steep we crawled on hands and knees to avoid tipping backwards.  We clambered. Balanced. Laughed. Slipped. Cursed. Oh, how we cursed!

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“Zero views,” we were told. But they were wrong. Through shifting windows in the vegetation, the ocean winked at us—bright, blue, vast.

At the summit, a rocky outcrop. A final boulder to conquer on legs now trembling from 500 metres of climbing. But the reward—what a reward!
The ridge stretched behind us like a spine. Ahead, the peninsula sprawled, dotted with white boats like scattered teeth, a distant power station, jagged rock towers, and tiny islands adrift in an endless blue.
I stood—no room for a handstand, but arms outstretched to Ranginui from my perch atop Papatūānuku.
An upside-down handstand. A moment of balance.

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And then, the descent.
Snakes and ladders. Always descending—except for the bits that still climbed. There are always ‘ups in the downs’!

The last 800 metres—down, down, down the steps to the hut hidden in the ngahere.

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Lunch on the beach. Cold fingers, good food, satisfied hearts.
Birdsong: Kiwi. Ruru. Pīwakawaka. Kererū. Kōtare.
They watched us without watching.

We stayed present. In the now.
Grateful. Whakawhetai.
E waimārie au.
How lucky I am to be here, in this place, doing this thing.
Rongoā.
To see. Listen. Feel. Smell. Taste. Heal.

And then, a final gift—
A night walk under the moon.
The beach glowing like daylight, silver-bright and steady.
Ohua. A very good day for planting.

Peace.
Mārie. Tau. Whakaora.
Revived.

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Making Imagination Reality

I wrote this post on the last day of my trip to Spain at the beginning of July and have just found it in the notebook I wrote it in which was in a paper bag inside a tote bag I bought in El Museo del Prado… don’t ask! I have been busy and haven’t had time to sort out the bits and pieces I brought back. Anyway, as a reflection of my thoughts at the time I think it is worth posting even if the dates now don’t fit, so please ignore the references to time.

Ultimo dia en Espana!  A little strange to be starting a blog on the last day of my trip but I just bought a notebook  and pencil at the Museo del Prado with a quote by Picasso on the cover;

notebook with quote from Picasso in Spanish that translates as "All that you can imagine is real"“Todo lo que puedes imaginar es real”

Having seen and studied some of the paintings by Picasso and Dali over the last couple of weeks, I am unsure that my imagination even approaches either of theirs! Weird and wonderful! But I do believe that if you work at what you want you can make it real.

Yesterday was my last official day of working as a teacher in a school, at least for the next two and a half years. After 30 years teaching children and adults in schools and colleges; mainly French, German, Spanish & Phys Ed, but also Health, Drama, Food & Nutrition, PSHE and ICT (phew!) I am taking a scary but exciting step into a new world.

Not too big a step though… I will still be working in Education supporting schools and teachers integrate digital technology into their schools and curricula. I have been working towards this over the last few years in my role at school as an “eLearning Mentor” supporting my colleagues as they cope with the huge changes that technology has brought to their already busy worlds within and without their classrooms.

Change is scary. It is stressful. Technology can be overwhelming and make people question their worth, their competency and knock their confidence. goldfish jumping from small bowl to large one and the words

I saw a Facebook post earlier that said “Making a big life change is pretty scary. But know what’s even scarier? Regret.”

Decisions I (we) have made, big ones, like moving the family to the other side of the world, over the last decade have maybe been made on that basis. How would we feel 15 years on? Would we always say to ourselv
es “What if…?” But maybe, in today’s text speak, there is also a little bit of FOMO there too?

I have a dear colleague in the UK who asked me to promise when I left that I would learn to say “No”. I get excited about new things, new directions. My imagination starts to run riot (not quite like Picasso or Dali) when I see the possibilities and I often do take on too much. But that’s just who I am. Is it FOMO, is it fear of REGRET or is it PASSION or IMAGINATION and the BELIEF that I can make my imaginings real?  I don’t know. Sorry, Sue. I have not learned how to say “NO” but my world is getting bigger and I am excited (and a little bit scared) about my next big step.

Bring on the reality of my imagination!

Post Script

Five weeks into my job and I am loving it.I  am being challenged in all sorts of ways but realising that I know more than I thought I knew.